A Piece of My Heart Missing...

Well, I spent the day driving up to north Georgia with my sister, boyfriend, and brother-in-law.  We are going to spend the weekend moving our stuff from north Georgia to storage in south Georgia.  Charles and I will be spending the last month of my stay in Georgia divided among my parents and my sister.  We have always been a very close family, and this will be the first time, in my whole life, I have been this far away from my family for this amount of time. 

There are quite some mixed feelings among the family. 

Let’s start with my sweet Love, Charles:

As I mentioned in one of my earlier post, I was considering enlisting in the military to experience some of the world.  Well, Charles was not too happy about this idea.  However, I must say during the process of considering and accepting a job in China, Charles has been very supportive of me.  We have been through three years of craziness, which expands from finding an adoptive sibling to battling cancer.  We have decided to stick through this battle as well, and are keeping our hopes high about him coming to stay with me as much as he can.  We are trying to keep our eyes on the positive of the separation and stay focused on the all the opportunities that will come out of this experience.  He is has always been more than I can ask for in a best friend and a boyfriend, and big piece of me will stay with him while I’m away from the States.

My Sis:   

Becky and I had the typical love/hate relationship growing up, but as we got older, we grew closer and closer in our relationship.  Now, we would do anything for each other and love each other dearly.  Knowing how badly I have wanted an opportunity like this, she was very happy for me when finding out about my offer.  I am a very indecisive and naïve person in general, and I have already come to her for quite a few opinions regarding decisions about China.  I will miss her and my brother-in-law so much.

My Sweet, Sweet Mom

Since the interview, mom has not wanted me to leave.  She is quite the spoiled one when it comes to love and attention from her daughters.  Even when I was living four hours away, I would make it a point to come home and visit with Mom and Dad at least one weekend out of the month.  Ever since my interview with Romp N’ Roll, Mom has been throwing other job ideas out there for me to consider.  I was actually at Mom and Dad’s the night I got the job offer.  The news hit her like a ton of bricks.  She was very upset.  No matter how I tried to comfort her, nothing seemed to work.  As a few days passed, she eventually came around.  She has expressed that she is very happy for me, but I can see the sadness in her eyes.  It hurts me that I am hurting her.       

My Dear, Dear Daddy:

Dad responded to the idea of China quite differently than Mom.  Dad has always wanted me to experience as much as possible while I am young and prior to building a family with Charles.  He was very excited for me and encouraged my ideas of traveling.  With that in mind, I was very shocked with his reactions to the actual job offer.  I have no words to describe the look on his face after I told him about accepting the job offer.  His jaw dropped, and he was literally speechless.  He didn’t say a word to me, but simply turned around and stepped outside the house. 

He later told me that there was an unexplainable weight among his shoulders.  He, himself, was actually shocked at his own reaction to the news.  Dad and I have always had a special bond, and I felt awful about breaking his heart.  The last thing I ever want my parents to feel is a since of abandonment from their own daughter. 

Each one of my family members has a significant role in my life, and I will miss each one more than words can explain.  I believe the most difficult part about China will be exactly that…learning to cope with a piece of my heart missing…